Just Notes =)

只有 当你自己完完全全的认识你自己时 人生才真正的开始  。。。 成几何时 我们觉得疲累不堪 完全没有任何动力往前时 那种无奈的感觉 但 最终还是硬着头皮 坚持走完 ？ 最近 看到一段文章是这样写的 "有些路， 走下去， 會很苦很累， 但是不走， 會後悔。"  这就因该是大家动力的来源吧  人生来就没有带来什么  当然 死了也带不去什么 顶多出现在历史课本的那几页 对！ 就只是那几页 。。。 既然 名利富贵 生不带来 死不带去 那么 就么有必要 那么的执着吧 。。。 你必须记得 你不曾拥有生命   你只是拥有生命的体验权 既然 生命不是你的 你就必须 趁你还活着是 好好的发光发热 尽情的挥霍每一分 每一秒 直到 生命的谢幕 。。。 不需要任何 富丽堂皇的理由 一无所有 只剩双手 只剩上天借你的躯体 就是所有的资产 你必须拼的理由 。。。 没有为谁而活得道理 你自己 就是拼命活下来的理由 。。。 扬帆 启程 吧 ~

人类一定是 一种矛盾的动物 考试之前 就幻想着考试后的生活 但考试后 却觉得 考试后的日子 满空虚的 不如 考试时的充实 这样是不是很矛盾？ 人啊 一旦久没有见面 感情往往都会随着时间慢慢的冲淡 无论你们多么的要好 最后终究会变成两条毫无瓜葛的平行线 无奈啊无奈 难道这就是大家所说的 “君子之交淡如水？” 这 看来也是一种矛盾吧 。。。 如果说 水瓶是 智慧，理智与冷静的 代表 那么 巨蟹 无疑就是 家庭和依赖的 代表 但 当一个水瓶  四周围都被巨蟹包围 被巨蟹那 软弱又依赖的家庭观印象 那么 水瓶会不会依然那么的冷静与理智？ 还是会功亏一篑 通通被瓦解？ 我想答案应该是后者吧 被彻底的瓦解 遍体鳞伤 不留一丝的美丽 留下你独自黯然哭泣 以时间做为最佳的良药 。。。 夕阳无限好   只是近黄昏 美丽总是来得那么的迟 却消失得那么得快 这是古今中外 千古不变的定律吧 要不然 这世界怎么会珍惜 昙花一现的美丽 还有 怎么会认为 物以稀为贵呢？ 果然 最终还是因为矛盾 而选择了短暂的美丽 瞬间的永恒 且相信 不在乎天长地久 只在乎曾经拥有 这种 无聊的千古神话 。。。 传说 外表坚强的人 内心往往都是最脆弱的 外强中干 是这样吗？ 坚强的外表 代表着内心曾经痛苦的过去 然人所学会的 伪装与武装 他们别无他意 请不要  抨击这些人 因为 他们心里的矛盾 天使与恶魔之间的拉扯战 自己与自己的对白 是没有任何人 除了自己 能够明白的 记得不要怪这一类人 当他们崩溃时 可是一发不可收拾的 。。。 这些都瞒矛盾的吧 。。。 这就是万物之灵 -- 人类

已经不记得最后一次的大相聚是几时了 大概是新年的时候吧 时间过的赶好快 又要考政府的考试了 无奈啊 … 已经不记得最后一次赤裸裸的掏心是几时了 这个…真的不记得了 天生生性多话…健谈 但自从大家各自分道扬镳后 好像 安静了许多 有时爱热闹 有时喜欢冷清 空虚…寂寞…空洞 有谁能够陪我说说话 聊聊天 哪怕五分钟也足够 好怀念那些时光 那些电话煲电话粥 一两个小时 无所不谈 怀念啊… 现在 吊儿郎当的… 一点都没有醒悟的觉醒 没有动力 没有原力 没有目标 没有… 嗨 远方的朋友们 你们好吗 ？ 夜晚 熄灯之后… 留在身旁的 应该就是连海啸 也冲不走的 生命之交吧 …

从前有一对户对的邻居 他们的门前都种着 桃子树 和 李子树 “看看那桃子树长得多茂盛啊” “瞧瞧那李子树长得多美丽啊” 邻居总会称赞邻居的树多么的好 竟然忘了自家树的感受 … 他们殊不知自己食用的果实 是自家的树的结晶 却还在哪儿批评树的外貌 称赞别人 难道这就是传说中的吃里扒外 还是 传说中的外国的月亮比较圆 ？ 有一天 桃子树和李子树互相约定不结果实 那一对邻居才了解 自家的树的存在 但 都太迟了 … 人总是因为无尽的贪恋而不懂的满足 往往都要等到事发了才开后悔莫及 这样的处事逻辑在哪里？ 为何不要从一开始就珍惜自己所拥有的呢？ 有时候真的不知道比较的定义是什么？ 气死人吗？

时代 无论  大时代 小时代 好时代 坏时代 只要 你会好好的把握现在 珍惜当下 对你而言 应该都是 独一无二的 最佳时代 时间 可是不等人的啊    当你还是胎儿时 心脏律动的那一个永恒的瞬间 你的生命 就已经进入了 倒数的的阶段 毕竟 世事无常 “人生有几个十年” 如果现在的你 不好好地把握 那么   你又有什么颜面去面对未来的自己？ 珍惜当下   把握现在 不要让生命的乐章留白 这样或许 未来的你会十分的感激 现在的你 =）

晃呀~晃呀~晃呀~晃~ 一晃就是大半年 自从读了STP 就觉得自己蛮颓废的 不太知道怎么了 就只知道 时间的冷漠与无情 一瞬间 十月已经过了一半 计划却没有行动的意思  看着政府考试慢慢的逼近 自己却还是有那个闲工夫 在这里“泡茶” 看着同学 在跑道上已经奔驰了好几圈 自己却还在 原地踏步 只知道 瞎担心 却没有付诸行动的意思 太堕落了 为何？ 自己也却摸不着头脑 自能眼睁睁的看着时间的流逝 心里痛着 但 也无法做什么 就因为 没有动力 好像 在浩瀚的大海 当一个人独自的在一艘破裂的小木船上 晃呀晃得 心里 却只能 紧张 眼泪 盈眶 但 力不从心 为何？ 望苍天却也无解

“循环， 无论恶性或良性 终究， 会有人受伤 当然也会有人   从中的得到利益” 这就是循环的不变原则 千篇一律 千古不变 不同的是   年代   场景   人物 还有最重要的 感觉 有时候 感觉对了 什么事情 都跟着对起来 叹~ 两年前 为了“秘书”一职 割舍换得又友情的延续 两年后 回到一样的时间点和地点上 又是 为了“秘书”一职 这次无法摆脱 现实的束缚了 面对吧～ 循环 同样的人物，时间点与地点 不一样的经历 当然 不一样的体验 这就是人生 体验　与　享受　吧 ＝Ｄ

真的 并不是在这里发泄自己的情绪 毕竟 这个账号是为了 分享而的存在 。。。 但 >< 还是会忍不住 爬上这里发发牢骚 ———————————————— 有时候 当夜深人静 赤裸裸的面对自己时 心里总会有一份莫名的忐忑 那分忐忑 关于自己的抉择 。。。 抉择 影响着一辈子的抉择 ———————————————— 有些时候 某个固定的瞬间 突然清醒时 心里总会有一份强烈的不安 那份不安 关于自己的所作所为 。。。 不安 成绩不理想，时间不等人的不安 ———————————————— 有些时候 经过风浪的吹吹打打 不经意苏醒的一刹那 心里总会有那一点点的无奈 那份无奈 关于着自己的冲动和自负 。。。 无奈 年少无知，狂妄自大，后悔莫及 ———————————————— 或许 事情和世界 都很简单 只是 自己的思维把它复杂化了 某些事  某些人  某些时刻 有时候 只要 静心思考 也许他们就真的只是 磨练与过客 那么又何必执著呢？ 浮云啊浮云 为何大家都喜欢追着你而跑？ 有些时候 真的觉得没有必要折磨自己 就为了 显示自己的能力 或许 自给自足 才是真正的王道吧 。。惑。。

我想 今天的标题 已经尽足以表明 我的选择 与 心态 您 想赶我去远远的地方读书 为了避免我们所之间的争执 我能理解您的感受 但是 请您这两三年 再多多忍受我这个“拖油瓶” 之后 我也希望 自己能够不要寄人篱下 攀附在别人的身上 过日子 虽然 学业 波折重重 但 又能如何？ 当我出生在马来西亚的那一刻 您就应该了解到 马来西亚华侨 的 求学生涯 是崎岖 坎坷的 我并不是 自我可怜 或是 孤芳一赏 但 课本里写的 明明白白 清清楚楚 “黄人”和“黑人” 若要取得公民权 必须承认  特权 与 优先权 既然如此 又能怪谁？ 难道  要从黄土里掘出先人的遗骨 然后再 “鞭骨”？ 既然不能改变事实 就改变自己 只有适者生存！ 所以 身为马来西亚公民 就应该 跟着马来西亚的方法 求学 虽然 爱因斯坦说过： “如果你叫鱼爬树，鱼也会瞬间觉得自己的愚笨与无能” 但是 这又如何？ 既然国家想要 “会爬树的鱼” 你就要 变成 “会爬树的鱼” 因为 只有 “会爬树的鱼” 才能在国家 发光发热 因此 选择中六 就是 跟着马来西亚的方法 求学 尽可能的 让自己 变成 “会爬树的鱼” 尽管 遍体鳞伤 也 无怨无悔 既然 事实如此 也只能接受 “亦与心之所善兮，虽九死其犹未悔” 能不能 这样的来表达 ？ 那就只能问 屈原了 ~

I think I'm now committing a self-suicide ><!!! Why?! U chosen STPM? See?! your homework that will never see its end >< Why I should carry on? Sometimes just have an idea to just give up  my dream  that seems like stars which I could never reach Haizzz.... Quite tired  ... But then just for the choice I made I must still carry on no matter hoe tough or tired THIS IS YOUR CHOICE NO PEOPLE TELL YOU TO DO SO! So, I'm paying the "costly" prices for my own future Well Hmmm Keep calm, smile and go on as you had chosen it ... move on =)

Life easier said than done  hmmm... Never ever hope that  time  will stop for you or time will rewind This will just occur in the fairy tale but  no way in reality Grab the chance now otherwise there is no point  crying over the split milk =) After the secondary for those who continued the STPM life seems became complicated there are no more things that is simple   Teacher said that  "Do you all think that you all can score well in STPM just as you SPM?" "Oh no!! Fake hope" "If you are lazy" Sometimes just can't find a reason to continue Maybe that is just an simple excuse  for my laziness  However  this is just a process of life I believe that that is just a tiny part of my life curve Once you are a human being Nothing will be easy Except  you strive hard  and never ever give up.

这是一种 蛮奇妙的感觉 。。。 看着  自己培训出来 的人 把自己交付给他的责任 交付给 新的一代 ~ 不是不舍 不是感慨 就 只是那微妙的感觉 卸任了 就 把重担交给了 自己信赖的人 自己也不能松懈啊！ 据说， 考试即将来临！ 大家 加油咯 =) 有感。而发~ 看着 那摇摇欲坠的字牌 经几次 微风的洗礼 都险些掉了下来 但是 最终还是粘在墙上 这 是不是表示 只要我们 不揭穿别人的弱点或短处 那个人 就会竭尽所能的 把自己最好的一切 表现得淋漓尽致？ "Don't judge a book by its cover." 我猜想 这是自然界 今天教会我的事吧 也许 表面上 他 并不可靠 并不聪明 并不完美 但 或许 他 以后 就可能是你的上司 甚至 是你的老板 。。。 嗯~ 我只能说 大家 各有所长     各有千秋 大自然 是公平的 每一个人 生活在这世上 都会有 属于自己的定位 属于自己的天空 未来？ 还没有到，谁又敢保证？ 空谈！

Don't trouble trouble until trouble troubles you ~ there always simple ways to handle  problems don't make simple things complicated and then worry about the simple thing which you tough that it is complicated ~ Sure, life is no a bed of roses BUT you have the right to decide what to do  and what should not there always simple method to overcome problems How? Have a holistic view on it? Have a perfect plan? OR Analyse the situation?  Haha... For me ~ Just follow the voice of your heart with the rationale thinking then you will see things clearly That's something simple Keep your mind clam and focus on it. Give all your best no matter in what condition  and grab whatever opportunity  as well as live on present Then Problems will be just -something simple-

All of us will appreciate a thing just when we lost it ... Why? Parents said that I'm not independent and mature enough ... Are you sure this statement is correct? you said that I'm not independent because all the things that I did  must rely on someone but... do you know why I do so? Sometimes I'm just simply tired  to defend my stand, there are factorS that made me to do such decision I personally knew that what is the best for myself. What you all need to do is just trust you son. Is it too difficult to you all? you said that I'm not mature BUT... what you saw is just the surface you don't know the inner part of it there are factorS  that let me do such a movement ... I'm curious... Why a son or daughter will NEVER be perfect  in their parents' eyes? Even though they did well in many aspects OR  even though they are very good in others' eyes ??? Now I really realize

Shit !  Form six life sucks !! What the hell that  I need to re-collect my co-curricular marks I need to participate all those stupid sports ... Really fed-up and tired Form six ruined my life !! Stupid thing! what do you mean that "Ohh, this thing is not important, they will not test you in examination, then, we skip!" Do you think that  just a SPM leaver will know all things about the syllabus of form 6  Do u think that all of us are Albert Einstein or Issac Newton? Don't aspect or assume that  we are genius! WE ARE JUST HUMAN BEING !!!  SO treat us like normal student and not genius Are you sure that the government hire you just to find reason  not to teach or explain the text to us? Yes! We knew that we must further our study before you teach. And we did it. But,  can you just take it seriously ? Please... the one who study form 6 are those who their family not afford them to study private coll

Hmmm... 10.6.2013 first day presented at my former school Ya... Muar High School in Pre-U 1 W =) Pre-University  OR STPM  is really hard... Just the first day I followed  the class I felt tired and exhausted How can I carry on  for the one and half year ? >< First day... Pengajian Am ~~ Pn. Jurnaliza Biology ~~ Pn. Ang Chemistry ~~ Pn. Chan Mathematics ~~ Mr. Doh and MUET ~~ Pn. Vasantha Hope that I can communicate with them well and pass my STPM semester examination with flying colours N my class teacher >< Mr. Doh Haizzz... Don't know what to comment about him an "extraordinary" teacher to me Really need to work up starting from now Move on !!! =D 

After the NS I realized that my "honeymoon holidays" had end Now Is the time to be serious and diligent. Enter the Form 6 is my choice ya as u choose it, so you must carry on no matter what had happen or  how tough the study is. Well, I will try my best to - "Keep calm and go on" Now is the time to  R.E.S.T.A.R.T. there are thousands even millions of question and challenges  waiting me   thus I have no time to be childish and playful again time to restart my study machine and work-hard without any excuses Now is the time to restart  my social network with my school's teacher to restart my daily routine that is busy with tuition and ko-ko  to restart  my mind to accept new knowledge so keep calm and carry STPM on =)

Ya I think I will never forget the day we leave the NS camp all of us cried no matter boys or girl because of say goodbye Goodbye my NS friends who are from :- Selayang Segamat Kuantan Kluang Muar Kota Tinggi and Mersing There are a lot of "first time" in Camp PLKN Semarak Ya Gain a lot of experiences and make a lot of new friends =) Goodbye to  Ahmad Hafeez The leader of Alpha company A mamak-malay boy from Kuantan the one who I respect the most =) Thank you for teaching me a lot of things accompany me along NS life help me whenever I need and ... Goodbye to  Pei Qi, Shu Ying and Wai Wei 3 girls from Kluang who are close to me Pei Qi the girl who get the JPA's scholarship and the 1st time we meet  is in the "Pejabat" Haha_ =D nice to meet you and actually You are a nice girl Shu Ying the girl who going to study at UTAR Hooi Miss ! Don't eat t

前途 这要怎么说呢？ 一位巴士司机告诉我 命运在冥冥之中已有定数 没有 任何人能够预知 自己的未来 这也对啊！ 定下心来斟酌 才发现 自己还是在 原地踏步！！ 颓废 消极 没有上进心 ！！ 朋友们 统统 都去读书了 却还剩下自己 在兵营里 溃烂 T.T 无奈 事实如此 我又 无可奈何？ 今天 阿姨的朋友们 提出了 建议 “出国深造吧 星加坡 不错 要读 就要读 国际认可的文凭 不要被 马来西亚 的教育制度 限制” 嗨 ~ 能出国，谁不要？ ><!!! 总之就是乱槽槽 一团乱 !!

Independent After a month in the camp I learned that  every living organism must learn  to be independent. For example, if a baby bird is not independent, It will never learn how to fly ~ So, we should be independent We must learn that  how to stand on our own feet no matter where we are when is it  or what we faced. It is so essential that we learn how to not depends on others You will never learn If you always depends on something or someone when you solve a problem In this context, we should be independent when we carry out our duty or play a role as a good teammate Independent is just too important for success. Thus, learn how to be independent AND  not rely on others if can.

16.4.2013 After 19 days in the  NS camp I'm glad that I still can cope with the people and environment although I had fallen sick >< Hmmm... Puppy Love  OR Cinta-cinta Monyet Haha the nature of animals - when you have good condition of food, accommodation and health Then, you will start to  find a mate In this context, I would like to share about  a friend in the NS camp Am** haha ... ... Am** A Selangor boy who have quite good command in English wanted to find himself a "good friend" (gf)  & the World is so small that  the girl is See K** X** He said that it is just the Puppy Love & "play-play" only but who knows the ending of the story? God knows xD haha ... ...  

12.4.2013 After 6 days in the Character Building (CB) class of Module 1 (Saya) Eventually, the class dismissed ... I can still recall vividly the moment when I first entered the class Boring   Sleepy   Dizzy   Not Interested is all the first impressions in the class Haha ... We are separated into 4 groups 1 Malaysia 1 Hati Umbrella and Semarak Ians Of course, I'm in the  most excellent group "1 Hati" On the first day I was chosen as the leader >< I had to learn to communicate with all my first-time-met friends  AND Obviously, it is extremely tough Our group members are : Wira Adam the lazy Wira(Saiful) the funniest Fizi the clown Vind the boring people Tocey the talented actor and Ayie the shy boy Wirawati Poh Wan Ting the 1st communicate Chinese girl Dhila the arrogant Ceera the "writter" Suri the slow-motion Fieqa the laugh-er and Hajah the

8.4.2013 Life of PLKN  Actually, it is not so hard if you REALLY enjoy th things. Just like we learned  in Character Building Class If you change your mind and your attitude Everything should be fine Nothing should be  a problem  Tomorrow (9.4.2013), a friend will leave  the camp and us Amir from Selayang, Selangor. Farewell and wish you the very best  in your future Hmmm... I ound that I cope better with my friends now Even the 3 musketeers is born Me, Amri and Shai Friends who different etnic and religion live peacefully & happily  to fight for the  same target. Although the feeling is weird I enjoyed it The mystery power of bond beyond the Malaysian =) PLKN  1 Malaysia 

6.4.2013 After 1 week in the camp we finally get back our own handphone Happy ~~~ =) Everyone is busy to contact parents, friends and lovers. Busy talking or complaining their  sadness or happiness 5.4.2013 I contacted my mother & knew that my father got  bleeding when he urinate =( I really worried about him My lovely father, Can you please love yourself & don't make mama and me worried ??  You are the only man in the family so, Please love yourself & don't make us  worry and upset May Buddha bless you so that you will get well soon  please ~~ ... Friday : Handphone : Health : Father : Pray  

3.4.2013 After 5 days in the camp All of us no matter  Chinese, Malay or India, we are getting closer and closer Ya The spirit of 1 Malaysia is stronger now... Hmmm... About the co-title ~ Starlight Yes absolutely YES the stars in the camp  is too beautiful~ Personally, I like it very much ~~~ Maybe one day we will  seperate from one and other BUT we are still observing the  similar starlight "Everyone should be the main character of their life NO one can replace one and others"   so live your life well =) I'm enjoying the life now Although the facilities in NS is not so complete Everything was fine Well !! I correct NOT so fine =] Night~

31.3.2013 : Sunday  After thr bus journey about 6 hours Eventually, I reached my camp That means my life of NS  will start from today Welcome  ^^ my new part of life ~ My code -DL 115- which brings the meaning of  D orm  L elaki 1 Katil no.  15   SO, start from 31.3.2013 I will be called as Wira DL 115 First day is considered quite ok Al least, I didn't meet gangsters in my Dorm Hoping that the rest of the day I could cope well with my friends. Oh yea... Forget to mention This NS camp will assembly the people  just from Johor,  Selangor & Pahang New friends for 1st day Wen Jie (nice), Wei Sern (hng), Faris n Amirul (shadow) and those that I cannot remember their names >< Sorry ~~ 1st day : New friends : New hope : New life