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还是会在乎

人   的确是一种很可笑的物种
明明知道会受伤害   却也愿意再痛一次
灿烂的笑着   抵挡热泪盈眶
微微一笑   迎来湿润的脸颊

卢广仲在 [大人中] 的歌词里有唱道：
“長大後誰不是離家出走？茫茫人海裡游。”

长大了的我们   都得离家出走
但一个人在外的时候 
难免   还是会想找一些精神寄托
寻找一些心灵依靠

或许不了解我的人都会觉得我很  跩
是一个目中无人的死贱货

那些可能了解我的人
或许又会觉得
这个人应该还不错，应该满可靠的，可以被信任
只不过有点面瘫

唯有那些
我愿意让你走入我的世界里的人
才会发现我的幼稚，依赖和三八

XXX

2014 年
类似的情感浮现过一次

三年后的 2017 年
这种该死的感觉又来了

这三年里
我尝试独立，我尝试不屑一顾，我尝试 YOLO 人生观
但是
这种该死的感觉还是会让人心烦

看来修行还不够阿
还得回山修炼上千年
或许   才能   看破红尘？

哈哈
傅首尔说：
“红尘都是看不破的，看得破的都不是红尘。”
那看来我应该要生生世世的轮回了

XXX

我不喜欢被抛下
我不喜欢众人皆醉我独醒的感觉
我也不喜欢自己被情绪操控

但每当全心全意地付出了
总不会是好的结果

哈哈
或许是我的要求太多了？

我真的那么差劲吗？

如果成长的代价是无数的痛换来的
那   我不长大了！

XXX

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